Just Thinking

SO many things go through your brain when you’re sitting at home after work, and no one is home. D is at work and Jayk is in Mesquite. Years have gone by too fast, seems like yesterday I was playing Barbie World with Glady or making a Starship Enterprise out of duct tape and cardboard for Jaymes. I can picture Jaymes running around, Glady involved with her many toys and Jayk dynamically participating in any activity his Big Bro/Sis was into.
     The main concerns on my mind then were what is for dinner? Do I have enough lunch stuff for the week? I need to get laundry done, and this house is a mess. What time will D be home? I am Fat. I hate working, because I wanted so badly to spend every moment with them. I also have a list forever long of things I want for the family.
     How can I be sitting here doing nothing? My laundry is done. The house is clean and I have a plan for dinner, for just the two of us.
     I miss Jayk, I feel like he needs the time away though. His testing is done, but he was missing his sis and bro too much. Jayk also wanted to spend some time with Mesquite friends. So his visit is good.
     This time in our life is so different, D looked at me in the kitchen and said, “Is this a prequel to how we will be?"
     I guess it is like the empty nest sort of thing, but we are still working and we continue to desire an active life with our kids and Grand kids. I look forward to family gathering, Holidays, and babysitting. I know D and I need to direct Jayk and encourage him into making decisions that will have him create a successful life. I also know that with Jaymes and Glady around the age of 17 they pretty much started their independence. I know we continued to direct or dictate, but we also worried all the time and when I look back I wish I would have participated more and not backed off as soon as I did. However I have amazing children and Excellent Grand kids. I will continue to encourage Jayk in a path best for him and his safety.
     So I sat, and wondered what does life have in store? Was worrying about my weight all those years that important, my real concern should have been health. My wish is that all my kids and their kids are healthy and safe and make the most excellent choices. I will Love my children no matter what and I sure Hope they know that no matter where I am that is Home for them and their family. If they ever need a place to stay, go visit, or whatever they can come home and Dad and I will have their back.
     I miss the days gone by. I have the best memories of each child’s life. I have so many stories to tell, and I hold these memories of each child’s face at specific times in their lives imbedded in my mind.
     I also have to say, that the enjoyment of growing older with your kids Dad is the enormous delight and laughter when reminiscing about each child. D brings memories I forget. These thoughts are priceless.
     I look forward to family gatherings because the kids also have memories. I truly am blessed. I love my family, and I know that is all due to the fact that I had an amazing childhood too and I wanted nothing less for my kids.
     Don’t get me wrong my Mom and Dad would fight my siblings too would knock out drag out boxing matches.
 I know D and I have many yelling matches and maybe even a sugar bowl being thrown to the ground but after acknowledging my wrong and with D’s apologies we changed and after a while no throwing things just yelling but always making up after somehow evolved. I hope to have many years together with D. I pray we get many years to grow old with each other.
     I seen my Daddy taken away from my Mom just when they would be able to only have each other to worry about. I had met D and we would soon be out of the house. Leaving Mom and Dad with no kids at home. Time to enjoy!
     We have many years ahead, Jayk has a few more at home, and I am excited about the future.
 Our family is marvelous